Wednesday, October 15, 2008
emoish day..
jus returned home from yet another tech comm meeting..been staying late in sch since last wk jus to work on the final report.sighs.i'm jus sian wif it i guess.but at least we're like almost done...oh wells.jus felt the sudden urge to blog..i have no idea why.perhaps it's all the small small things tt haf accumulated and were all triggered today by the various thgs today tt made me feel really down.sighs.this shall be a super random post for there're loads racing through my mind now.the emptiness is back.realised i dun haf much of a life besides studying and if i still don't do well in it, the impact will be aggravated by the fact tt i don't really haf other commitments.but sumhow i noe tt i will nt do well this sem.sumhow, this is making me kinda stressed.the fact tt exams are exactly one mth away doesn't make thgs any better.as always there're many aspects abt myself tt i lack confidence in.one of cos is acad and the usual other stuff.this was generated by various thgs and pple i met today.sighs.i duno.i realise self doubt is a highly scary notion.how dangerous=( but i'm still doin it.ahh.but dun worry.i'll nv fall into depression bcos of tt.there'll not b any paragraphing or attempts to express in grammatically correct english for i haf enough of tech comm editing btw.sighs.i find myself starting to give up le.wat's the pt of me putting in the effort when i dun think it's being appreciated.i feel foolish for plunging myself in like this.i was being too naive for interpreting thgs ba.is there an explanation.will there ever b one.i duno.i jus feel sad tt i dun seem to matter.sighs.and also there're thgs in life i realised tt we will nv b able to classify as right or wrong.esp when work is mixed into frenships which is then mixed in relationships.i totally duno how i shld feel and think.complicated.i hope everythg is ending soon.it better b.i dun wan this anymore.kk.back to thgs abt me.sighs.alrite.i think "self doubt" abt sums up everythg.
Xiu Min @ 12:37 AM
