Xiu Min
10July
21-ish
On Exchange: DTU'09
Kongens Lyngby, Denmark
NTU.BIE'07
NJC05S28.NJPA.NJCO'06
RV4A.3A.2I.1I.RVCO.RVSC.Welfare'04
BRPS.6G'99

你在的第五季
冷的天空没表情
月亮忘记了阴晴
孤独它抓我好近好近

在想念的第五季
忽然街上开不见你
夜色暗得多离奇
而我依然能够做我自己

This blogskin is made not only by me but it is made with some help/resources.

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Copyright S.R★ Productions.
© SpoiltRADI.O★™

Nowadays, I'm kind of bored during lunch hour. haha. cos dun really wanna watch movies online anymore. Think sometimes they are a waste of time. Haha. Guess i still prefer to read books and to blog while i have the time and feel like blogging.

Let's see! Firstly, there's the gala premiere. When i reached there together with wan tian and desmond, then i realised that it's a gala premiere. This means there will be lots of stars around and there's even a red carpet awaiting shuqi at the doorstep to ang mo kio hub.haha. We went to buy Mos and then went back outside to wait for shuqi. After some superstars like Zeng Yong Ling and Chen Guo Qiang arrived, I saw my colleague leave and so we decided to go in too. The cinema is located on the top most floor and it's already crowded by the time we reached. Apparently, we should not have taken such a hurried dinner as there's reception there while we wait for shuqi and the minister to kick start the opening ceremony.

The show's really funny.haha. It kept the whole cinema laughing continuously throughout la..haha.especially a gal sitting in out row. Lol. So those who would want a good show just to relax for the weekend should go watch "My wife is a gangster 3".

Next, i met up with the 30 gang and we went to eat Fish & Co. Anyway, the guy who served us at the door kept us arguing about whether his/her sex issue. my first impression of him (we later decided that it should be "he") is that he's male but the moment he came nearer, i thought he's female and later when he gave us a colourful speech (it's more like an oral examination passage in which we often over pronounce and inunciate with all the overtones and all) while sitting us a table, i thought he's female again until i noticed his adam's apple (pointed out by wt) lol.It feels great to catch up with everyone (hai.dm's not here) though i sometimes feel that the feel of the outings has sort of changed. hmmm. i think it's just me and my sensitive thoughts la. We took some pictures and then went home.

Then came sat which is the day Krystal turns 2!! Her father's gonna treat our family to dinner. Yeah! Anyway, she turned up with her hair tied up into 2 ponytails..haha and she looked soooo cute. At the age of 2, she's able to tell you the english and chinese names of most of the things she sees and she can even ans in near complete sentences. lol. She's just so smart..haha. We went to a restaurant at One North. (can't rmb the name though-short term memory and it's deteoriating...a worrying sign) I really like the ambience of the place. According to my dad, the whole stretch of restaurants at One North now occupy these bunglalows that are previously known as "White Bunglalows" and belong to the British Army during the colonial times and World War 2. I like the design of the buildings. I duno why i like these victorian style buildings or very chinese temple like buildings.haha. and since our table is in the backyard, we are simply sitting right under a star-studded sky. Wonderful! I hope i may someday own such a place. Well, we had a splendid meal starting with BeiJing Kao Ya. oh my. My second time eating it only since the time i ate in China when i'm in p5. Though the food is good, most of our attention is still on the birthday gal..haha. We went home after that and cut her cake (a Pooh bear one). and she made us play with her until about ten plus.. Tired day but warm and heartfelt.

Mostly i want to talk about the book BoonHan lent me called "Sheng Xia Guang Nian". Since he already warned me, i wasn't surprised to find some of the content disturbing. Anyway, they're still manageable. haha. You see...it's a homosexual book. However, some of the ideas in the book are really thought provoking. I really wonder how do we define the line where friendship turns into relationship? Between opposite sex individuals and between individuals of the same sex? What if one day, you really found out that someone you like someone whom you always thought to be your best friend and what if you guys are of the same sex? Would the friendship be lost then? Will you guys continue with a relationship? This is what the book discussed.

Another point. As we grow older, we learn to accept the feeling of loneliness. Everyone hates that feeling i'm sure. As we grow more independent (which is expected of an adult), we segragate ourselves from others as a being. This step pushes people out of our realm of trust and friendship sometimes degrade to mere acquantiances or worse, not even present at all. I thought we are communal creatures? I thought we always highlight the importance of teamwork. I thought we always emphasise the more important things in life is love, care and concern. Our feelings and not material gains. Then why do everyone grow up in the opposite direction? It doesn't seem to make sense. Indeed, as i grow older, i realise that we are talking less and less to our friends. When we are young, we'll exchange secrets with our friends, expecting them to keep them safe for us. now? we don't. Everyone of us, to a certain extent, has a mask that we hide under and never reveal our true selfs. Much as we want to share things with others, we don't talk about them to people anymore. i suppose we just have to accept this as a fact of life.

Been chatting via email with Chujie these days while working..really helped to occupy my otherwise boring times..lol. and we talked about issues that i forced myself to forget. Sometimes when i see him, i would regret not accepting his offer to start that time. I didn't have the courage. I thought i didn't know him well enough. I thought his confession also a bit...disappointing..haha. but at that time i forgot to think about how difficult it must have been. hai. There's so many things la..and it's been 2 plus years now anyway..so what's there left to think about right? and yet...i will sometimes think of it. esp after this year's stupid forwarded msg and stuff. and times when we meet up for gatherings. i duno. i think since i'm not sure of what i am feeling. It's better to leave it as it is..yup. Let things be ba. yet i will sometimes wished that we could have tried. Whatever...it's so long ago liao.

Next week's camp liao. a bit apprehensive after hearing things about the camps. Hope it won't be that bad la. I wanted to go as i know no one in my course and i don't want to feel out of place when school starts. lol=) Pray and hope for the best.

Hmmm... i should try the Secret..haahha...focus on the gd things.feel good and that thing will come. Let's try and see...lol

Cya...next next week liao.since i only update using the office comp. i can never use my home com for long nowadays. an hour or 2 is already a blessing..haha.

I was walking along the path to work and about to cross the road. It's a rather complicated road crossing so i shan't explain. Anyway, i thought i saw that the cars are all turning into the carpark area so i crossed the road and suddenly before i knew it, there's a loud "Honk!" and a car pulled up right next to me. My goodness! My mind took a moment to register my situation before i quickly scrambled out of the way. However, the weird thing is that the thought of death really didn't cross my mind. Does this mean that i really don't mind dying at that moment? As i stepped into the building i then realised how close i was to arriving at death's door. Then thoughts of being responsible for my own life for the sake of my parents, sister, friends and relatives came into the picture.

This incident or, should i say, near accident really made me think a lot. In the past, I'm quite afraid of the notion of death. For example, that time when I went Time Square in Malaysia, I rode those dangerous amusement park rides. I would think of what it is like if the machine had a technical problem suddenly and I fell just like that and died. I would have felt that is was not worth it. But then today, it suddenly seemed that I don't really mind. And the only reason that I will feel regret is that my mum and dad will probably be devastated. Ya..so living seems to be living for them..as for myself. I think I’m fortunate enough to have 18 years, not to mention turning 19 in a few weeks time. So I don't really mind dying if not for my parents. (my life is given by them anyway.) Of course, there are things you would want to pursue and experience in life if you are living, but that moment this morning made me realise that all these might mean nothing when u die too. Hence, we should live in the present more than live for the future which almost everyone is doing. And which is what I have always been doing for the past 18 years of life since the time when i know what's the meaning of the words "plan" and "future".

Of course, I'm really grateful that i can continue living and so i thank god that I didn’t die today. I want to thank him/her that I have a chance to continue living. I don't really have a religion yet as i haven't really gone through them and what they inculcate. However, I believe that there's a supernatural being who will render help when he/she thinks need be. So once again, THANK YOU that i'm allowed to continue living =) I will seriously count my blessings everyday before going to sleep and be grateful that i'm alive each day if not for the sake of myself, for the sake of my parents.

Sometimes, I think even such things as accidents they occur for a reason, perhaps to stimulate my thinking in a particular direction. I believe that it’s sometimes fated. Like for example, some people need to pass a certain test in their life. Like losing their job etc in order to continue living. Like whether u pass or fail will guarantee whether u live. Maybe such a system does exist so that even in nature there's like an invisible hand like the price mechanism to keep things going. Perhaps...but i guess i'll never really know. Yet, i choose to believe. haha=)

Think all of us are too busy with the nitty gritty things that we do in life and maybe god realised that i'm too occupied with these insignificant things that he/she put in this incident to make me draw some conclusions and remind myself of the important things in life. Maybe the disappointing "A" level results really does affect me too much though i don't really realise it and the massive saving campaign of working all 7 days. Hence, i once again choose to believe that a system exists. yup=)

just my thoughts...i'm glad to be living..LIVING FOR NOW!

Last sat, went for STJ with PA juniors...lol. It's a crowd of about 25 people..haha though it kind of burned a hole in my pocket. hee.but nvm. I guess enjoying it matters more.

Well, three generations of PA people gathered at marina for steamboat at our usual area. It sort of reminded me of our JTS as we were sitting about 2 tables away from when we sat the last time. It's really nice to get together although the guys will always be talking about NS in their own lingo that i don't understand. Luckily, there's PL to accompany me and we continued with our own chat...haha.

Anyways, about half way through dinner, Elton started to recount certain events about our own committee and i'm sort of struck by how poor my memory is...haha. well, and everyone sort of reminicsed about the times we spent together. It has always bugged me that i don't really know the people in exco that well..as in i know them well enough about their work styles, habits, interests, behaviour etc. but then i don't really know each of them as a friend.It's like you see something on the surface and it's a little translucent and you sometimes see a bit more than the surface but you can never get to the interior. Anyway, it has always been sort of a regret for me but the guys are really too close together liao. Even then, i just enjoy the feeling when we are together. It just feels nice.Guess that's what kept me going to PA all these times.haha..regardless of the many topics that i sometimes don't know, i like to hear them talk about it too...haha.I really miss the days in the hall control =(

Anyway, i got an extension for the contract and so i'll be working for another month or so..and i got approval for leave to go SCBE camp! Yeah! Hai..though it's gonna cost me $50..but i hope i can be together with xiao sin! haha...yup..so excited and tues i'm gonna go ang mo kio hub watch movie premier..they say will have shuqi going in person..(*kinda doubt it though)..and thurs will meet up with 30 gang again le!!!

Things just turn out to be so unlucky this week..=(

This tue is PA Camp and i went back to see them as well as pass my CO costume back to meichen. Hence, after work, i took bus 74 down to NJ. I reached after about fifteen mins. Praying that the side gate remains open, I quickly crossed the overhead bridge..haha and there! The side gate is indeed open. I went in and that's when i was stopped by the guard who asked my purpose for going into NJ. I told him i just graduated and just came to visit and see juniors. He refused to let me gain entry and said i had no business to be here since i'd already graduated. "Please try the main gate...and i think you need to sign a form..." I was really irritated. I've never been stopped by a school guard before just because i'm an ex-student here to visit. Oh Man! Plus, the main gate is soooo far... i'm super tired after work and i will be gone in about an hour to go shop for farewell gifts for my colleagues. I'm not saying i'll be staying overnight with the juniors or something. Even then, our seniors seem to have to problem coming in last time and stayed over without much disturbances. This new guard...hai..okie..so i decided arguing with him is not working. I walked back to the bus stop and called some of the pa people. What's worse is that i can actually see them playing the caterpillar game in the field and yet i can't reach them via phone or simply screaming...Resigned to the fate of having to walk to the main gate, i started on my way before meichen called back and together with mingxuan, they came to fetch me.

When you reached the guard this time, he looked at us and again demanded that i cannot enter. MingXuan sort of argued with him too..and asked him to refer to Mr Maslan if any problems arises...after like another five to ten minutes, he relented and simply let me in...By then, I'm like quite sian diao...oh wells. Anyway, it was nice to go back to hall control and see them doing what we do at control during camps...although the control is less messy.Haha.but they were playing xbox and the like...oh my!...haha. traditions do pass down i guess=) *grins

Anyway, the next thing that happened is probably even more riduculous..haha..LEVI's was having a jeans sale of up to 60%..so i went in to rumage about..looking for my jeans. Hoping that they have the design still..and i can get another pair..well, so i started to flip through..as i drew my hand away to look at another pair of jeans, i brushed my hand against a stapler which is at the label of the jeans, where the tag of LEVIS usually is..."pain!" I looked at my last finger and saw that the skin had been cut right across..oh wells, i thought, just the skin..and then siasee and i saw the blood starting to ooze out quickly...and we went looking for the toilet..hai..so suay...now i have to type with my hand in a plaster =(

The most recent one would have to be last night. I was online chatting with sinyee as we accept the matriculation number..and then i was typing and happily chatting away...wells, then it happened. My words appeared jumbled up in the textbox...arghhh...no matter how i pressed "A", "S", "Z"...they don't register on the screen...oh my, luckily i have finished typing the whole application form and just left with the submit buttons to click...heng ar...but still... i cannot use the keyboard...cannot press "z" in maple is a great handicap...there goes mapling this wkend..was looking forward to it as i haven't gone online since last sat..cos my sis had been using all wk le...arghhh...now i have to go down to sim lim and get a nice keyboard liao =(

Why is everything happening this wk...lol..and kayhow says he's never been stopped by the guard before and he thinks i'm bullied by the guard...arghhh...why me?? =( hais....

Hai...ytd was the final day for submission of the online appeal..and i realise my colleagues got send in supporting docs..so i went to call and the admin there told me that the docs must reach by ytd.ai..so i decided that i can't get them ready and take leave from work to go down=(

Hence, i'm a bit worried that i won't stand a chance to get in anymore, since they did so much and i did relatively nothing..hai.but NTU oso ok la..i'm quite happy with it..jus the travelling time is about 1hr30mins...so long...duno whether i should stay hostel lei...must go discuss with sinyee.haha..

i shall leave to fate where i go then...maybe it was all meant to turn out this way? Maybe me not doing well and all...maybe it's to let me choose this path? Hence, perhaps i should just let nature take its course and not do too much or worry too much le..If i can get in, i will, if not, fate doesn't allow it...lol.

Although i think such thoughts are for people who really don't dare to try..but i think sometimes i push too hard and i get disappointed because of them...i'm just tired i guess...

so, i shall leave it to fate this time...since i think both courses have their pros and cons...just that NTU's like really far. The prospects of travelling is really making me feel tired already =(

I'm free now when i'm supposed to be working..well.cos my boss not free.lol=)
Well..guess i'm just quite worried about my appeal. I don't think i'll be able to go NUS. Hai.but i really wana go there. Cos it's so much nearer and my sis is around. and qy.zp.wt's all there...like everyone's there.hai...I should have done better la..Why did everything become like this? but well..i can only accept it..My 'A' Level cert is so ugly compared to my 'O' Level cert la..hai.

Anyway, even though it's a short one hour, i met up with qy to pass her the authorisation letter to help me collect the cert since i won't be able to go anyway..the timings are too inconvenient le..all working de. Lol. met at coro and bought some sushi...then she had craving for mudpie at island creameries..haha..so we walked over to eat..

First time i tried their mud pie..Really Yummy! cos of the oreo crushes and the chocolate ice cream..oooh..haha. but i had to eat really fast and couldn't take my time to savour it.Lol..we agreed to go again after my work next time..haha. Then she accompanied me back to mediacorp and we took pictures of the birthday cake and the balloon at the reception there. Haha. Quite funny la...but it's soo nice to be chatting with her after so long..and to simply just do things we like.and eat and chat..haha.like how it is in NJ. hai.I missed school but somehow i'm apprehensive about going NTU..like it's really far..and i don't know anyone taking bioengin de =(

Oops..just got scolded for photocopying something wrongly..well, i did that ytd and i didn't slp well that previous night..guess it does matter.and also she also got mistake la..so she didn't really scold me..Phew! Luckily!

Arggh... guess i can only pray for some miracle that i can go NUS ba. I seriously hope and pray hard!

Woohoo! Mayday's Concert's here. After so many months of waiting...of listening to their songs..haha..they're finally here. Besides the fact that i'm a MayDay fan, it's also the first time i'm going to a concert, one that is a full-blown one. HAHA! I'm so excited that day. Didn't even mind when the students will wreaking havoc in tuition class which means i had to shout most of the time...but the thought of meeting boon han and zi ping later for the concert is enough to appease my anger=) Lol...we are supposed to meet at 5.30pm but i waited abt 30mins for that bus and hence i only reached at 6.hai...and when we finally reach the max pavillion, it's already about 7.15pm...We wanted to buy tee shirts. but apparently, most pple already ordered theirs online..and the only ones left are the red not-so-nice ones..arghhh..felt so irritated...i should have gone browsing through their web...felt like hitting myself..so disappointed...so sad..but nvm, we each bought one light stick with the MayDay concert print on it!!! Haha...yeah! at least i have a souvenir...lol.However, when we entered, Zp realised her light stick is spoilt and there's no more left.all sold out.so cannot exchange...hai.No choice, so we continued to wait for Mayday's appearance as we sat down.



Even though we paid the most expensive price, we are still really far back.Hai...arghhh..They're too far away=( Anyway, enjoyed watching their MTVs of their previous concerts..see their fans crying in the one just before they took a rest..As the minutes dragged by, i began to grow impatient...eh.and well..there's a group of pple trying to zi4 high in front of us and we were quite put off by them.haha..eh..that's not impt..so i shall skip to the part when it all begins...



The lights suddenly dimmed and then screams aroused from the crowds all around us. Everyone left their seats and craned their necks to catch their first appearance. Then Monster and Stone appeared from two rising platforms to the left and right strumming their guitars to the tune of Wu3 Zhuang1...haha...so cool! and then Ah Shin, Guan You and Ma Sha appeared on the central stage. Ah Shin was wearing the white concert tee that's on sale for $60. I didn't catch how they appeared though as i was too preoccupied by Monster's appearance and him strumming the guitar...Aww...so Shuai!



Haha..well. They played a medley of fast songs like wei ai er sheng, ren sheng hai hai, zhong jie gu dan, kia qia and a super nice version of wan an di qiu ren that made boon han and me so amazed...haha! After that is some slow songs like Tian Shi..luckily they did that cos i was out of breath after jumping too much...lol=) Well, so Ah Shin alone stood on the stage. Shortly after, Monster and Stone appeared on the left stage with their guitars in hand and were sitting down. Ah Shin walked over to join them and they started playing Yong Bao..oh my! One of my favourite pieces..it's so nice to hear it live. As the last notes rang out..."MASA!" a group of his fans sitting quite near us screamed!

We looked to our right and Masa was sitting in front of a white grand piano and he started to sing an English song. The title of the song? I duno..haha. and one of the highlights of the concert: Masa's rendition of Zui Zhong Yao De Xiao Shi...that really melted our hearts..he can really sing too..so talented!

The concert's really full of surprises la..cos the rest of them appeared immediately on the central stage to pick up from where Masa left off and they had all changed their clothes. haha...I think it's at this point when they begin to talk and introduce the band or maybe this happened earlier.haha. well..and they sang lian ai-ING and then suddenly left us to shout L-O-V-E all the way for about ten minutes before they reappeared. Think that's they interval ba..lol.Ah Shin then led the crowd to sing la ji che. It's so nice to just listen to the whole crowd singing together, just like how we used to do it during community singing back in RV. and Ah Shin said: Zhe Shi Shang Zui Mei De Sheng Yin Jiu Shi Ni Men le..which i totally agree. What can be nicer than this? It's really quite Gan Ren.

Okies...i shall continue... then we continued with another medley of songs like gong lang, zhi ming and chunqiao, wei han lan nong, chong shang tian etc..and another touching part came...Wen Rou!!! Ah Shin began to sing..and the crowd sang with him...Oh man. At that point in time, tears welled up in my eyes but i forced myself to continue singing. Haha..so i didn't cry! Yeah! lol...but it's really nice..If only they had sang Heng Xin De Heng Xin..i think i would have really cried liao.

Soon after 11, they disappeared from the stage ans left us to shout "Encore!". and this time when they reappeared, they were all wearing the MayDay Concert tee! haha...Guan You's in Red..so i told ZP.she should have bought red too..haha.I grabbed the opportunity to look at them for a while more and to relish in their live music for a while longer..hai..really don't wan them to fly back to Taiwan..It'll be at least 2 years before they come=( Anyway, the end will always come and after Jue Jiang, they saluted and all left...all that was left was their instruments and equipments.hai..that's it..we stayed a bit longer and then left to grab a drink too.

Mayday! I really love them. Started to listen to them in 2005...From the Shen De Hai Zi Zai Tiao Wu album. I fell in love with Ah Shin's lyrics and songs and their music..The guitar of Monster, Stone and Masa and of course the super impt Guan You and his drums..Their songs are full of hope and expressed how they feel about the world..That's what i like about them...yup! Everytime i'm down, hearing their songs will fill me with hope again and i will cheer up=) Mayday rocks! Really miss them le..though the concert only just ended three days ago...-_-

Going to sing Kbox this sun with BoonHan and ZiPing...going to have a Mayday Marathon cos we simply too high le!

Can't Wait...=)

On Sunday, I went to my grandpa's birthday celebration and met my cousin who just graduated from chem. When he heard about my decision to go life sciences, he said "Really Ar?..." and he told me all about the life science sector being saturated and how the science dean will talk to us and hope to convert us to chem majors...bleah...i want to do something with bio...so i thought and pondered and finally decided to go NTU for bioengin...and so..I'm going to bioengin..It's gonna be a lot of travelling and the modules are going to be difficult.. but i will survive! I must survive and when i finish after 4 years, I'll get a professional degree and probably more job prospects than life sciences. Hai.but it's going to be a challenge that i must face! Yao4 Yong2 Gan3 Mian4 Dui4!

Hai...i think i felt more at ease after i accepted NTU-bioengin. It's like a safer choice and that i had always been enthu abt going into bioengin especially after the industry talk...Hai. However, I'm still apprehensive that i may not be able to survive all the maths and physics.oh and NTU's like really far...Maybe that's the reason why i had a nightmare yesterday..Woke up at like 4am and couldn't sleep anymore.My mind was so full of NUS-life science/NTU-bioengin. Even though thinking about it won't help since it's decided..lol.hai...did i make the right choice? I felt that i have and I seriously hope that i have.Arghh...the nightmare seems to have a foreboding effect. I choose to believe that i'm superstitious =)

Oh ya..i wanted to blog abt Mayday's concert! but was so distracted my the university acceptance thingy..lol...i will blog abt it under the next post...

now, I just wish to appeal successfully...