Xiu Min
10July
21-ish
On Exchange: DTU'09
Kongens Lyngby, Denmark
NTU.BIE'07
NJC05S28.NJPA.NJCO'06
RV4A.3A.2I.1I.RVCO.RVSC.Welfare'04
BRPS.6G'99

你在的第五季
冷的天空没表情
月亮忘记了阴晴
孤独它抓我好近好近

在想念的第五季
忽然街上开不见你
夜色暗得多离奇
而我依然能够做我自己

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Ask my mom to help me post that form A.. Hai..I have to steel my heart now.I'm going to take life science. I'm going to work hard to get a double major regardless of what i do. Drop all thoughts of Bioengin...hence, this post shall consist of all my reasons for not going. Somehow, writing it now will convince myself that i've made the right choice.

1) NTU is too far. Since i'm not very good in physics, that's going to be a major factor as i won't have enough time to study well...hai
2) Engineering, though a professional degree, is not really suited for me since i've never really did well in physics all these while...hai..but somehow the career's what i kind of really wanna do...but i'm sure life science can do the same thing too...though the research will be from a different aspect i guess but i should be able to contribute more from the life science aspect.
3) Compared to studying engin, i have more confidence in science. Also, i should be able to figure out more things on my own in life science than engin. Having gone through my 2 years in physics with mostly my friends to help me...and yet i didn't do well..This really detered me from going to engin..
4) I switched from econs to physics in JC and i've always thought whether i would have done better in econs. I don't want this to happen again..
5) I can still take a minor in materials science and engin or biophysics which is also in bioengin if i really wanna study it..Besides, after the basic degree. If i do well, i can always continue studying part-time etc and do post-grad bioengin=) but i guess that's gonna be really difficult..(so...just let me dream..haha)
6) NUS...my sis's there. her bf's there. Ah Ming gor gor's there. My friends are all there.wt.qy.zp.ss.pl....
7) If i do take bioengin, it's gonna be a tough 4 years ahead. I'll be happier in NUS so long as i can convince myself and that i won't regret giving up bioengin.

If it had been NUS who have given me the degree, i would have gone. Hmmm...perhaps i should have gone appeal...which starts today. If i get it, then i'll go. If not i shall be content with life science=)

Hai...why is everything packed into this period...I can't really enjoy my week leading up to the MayDay concert this sat! I still have to prepare for lessons this wk, esp english as there's a new prc coming to class... Hai.Anyways, there's a really encouraging thing last Sunday. One of my students who has some learning disorder. He managed to pass his Science for the first time and with 60+ marks! I'm just so happy for him..haha.well..and another girl also passed her science..59.5...=) Think this is the joy of teaching for teachers and it does give us a lot of drive and motivation...

Perhaps. I would really enjoy a career in teaching..haha...who knows? I guess everything's fated. I shouldn't have been so bent on doing things that i'm not good at just to prove that i can do it. Perhaps that's what Mr Wee had been telling me that time i was thinking of whether i wanted to drop my subject. Perhaps i should have listened to him....but i don't regret taking physics as i enjoyed the whole process..Also, i've never been good in Science. I'm just glad that i can still take science in FOS NUS. and even to get accepted in Engin..that's a real surprise. but for a basic degree, the most important thing is to do well. Hence, it doesn't make sense to do something i'm not good at.

Oh wells...this entry is really long...but it kind of sorted out my thoughts...NUS.here i come!

NTU Bioengin? NUS Life Science? Which to accept? This question has been looming in my head ever since receiving the letter from NUS. Spent a week and finally clicked on Science last friday. However, i'm still thinking about whether my decision is the right one. Hai.Why is this so hard..I guess i really lost confidence after receiving my 'A' results. The last time i changed my course to physics and i didn't do well. I don't wanna do the same thing and let history repeat itself. Though bioengineering also requires biological sciences, it has a fair amount of physics and maths to go along with it. What if i can't do well? Then i would have been better off going life science. If i do well, i can even go on to do double majors and i won't really have to worry about working in research institutes since i got a degree (sort of) in business.

NTU is also really far...and since i don't wanna stay in a hostel, that means travelling for about 3 hours per day. However, i don't wanna give up the chance to study bioengin as it's a really interesting course though difficult as it's really wat i think i wanna do as a career. As for whether i am suited for it? I don't really know. I don't think i'm one of those that can invent things though. Hence, another reason that made me click NUS. Perhaps... i really should just go NUS. Since young, i only thought of going NUS because NTU is really out of the way.

Think i'll just go appeal. If i can get in NUS bioengin, which i doubt so given my grades, i will just go life sciences. Well, afterall, i'm interested in both. I'm just afraid that i'll get bored with all the biology..or that i cannot get the concentration that i wan. hmmm..guess i'll just have to study really hard and i will be able to get it.

Or maybe i would be able to well and bioengin if i study hard too? Argghhh...this is killing more brain cells than i've ever killed for the past 6 months. It's like killing them altogether at once..That's so bad!

I'll make a decision soon.....

hai..I received the NUS letter last week. After waiting for so long, i realised they didn't accept me into Engin..and so the choices are now:
1. go NUS and take life sciences but it seems that you will most probably end up in some research institutions or teach.
2. go NTU and take bioengin..that's quite gd and i like the career prospects though it's still quite new in the industry for now. However, I sort of don't have confidence in physics anymore...and i'm sure it'll require just as much complicated maths formulas and chem theories.hai...with my results so bad, i don't know whether i can survive that 4 years.
3. appeal online for NUS via common engineering route then specialise in bioengin in 2nd year. However, this is risky. What if i can't get in bioengin? or chem engin? The probability of this happening is actually very large considering the kind of students they take in. hai..and maybe i'll end up with triple E or mech and that's really going to kill me...lols.

hai.so frustrating. NTU is so far. Think it takes me like one and a half hours to get there which accumulates to three hours of travelling a day. When am i going to find time to study, do tutorials and revise? Oh...and prepare for the tuition lessons for the weekends? I still need to prepare worksheets etc. arghhh....if i stay in hostel? i don't think i can find a hostel mate...think everyone already have a partner liao...=( and actually, i don't really anticipate hostel life la..It'll be fun, but i guess i won't want to stay for the long term.

Qy just told me that it's super easy to fail in NTU, cos they don't have the bell curve in NUS. Thus, fail means fail. Aiyo...yet another concern to deter me from going. Hai...and i'm sure my relatives are going to be murmuring about me going NTU..afterall, i have always been doing well..and they would have expected me to go with my sis to NUS. so how? what should i do? or should i go do applied chem? but my confidence level for that is also very low...hmmm..maybe i should compare the confidence levels of both...hmmm

Arghhh....frustrating ar.

hai...i think i'm quite a failure...seems that i really don't have anyone to talk to who will listen to what i have to say.. i know i'm nagging. But i really need to talk about my options myself when i can't make up my mind. So, guess that's the reason i blog. Since i never tell anyone the address...lol=)

Well, sort of decided to update at least once a day since i have to face the computer everyday at work. There's always lunch hour to put some things down.

Reflecting on the pass 5 months or so here, it seems that i didn't really learn much and my brain's been in hibernation all these while. What most people say about experiencing the "colourful" life in an office simply isn't applicable of temp workers like us, at least in my case. Somehow, my friends seem to be much better off. They interact well with their colleagues or give me the impression that they have assimilated into their office environment. In my scenario, life at work means listening to what your boss has assigned to you and do it accurately and efficiently. Other than that, there's not much conversation between us. Also, other colleagues also just treat you as a temp and so there's almost no attempt at making conversation. All attempts also fail to continue beyond 5-10 minutes i guess. Of course, i do make some friends and those are the ones who just joined the company not long ago and hence, there's at least the common similarity of being new.However, they do treat me well and it can also be due to my personality of not opening up to people easily. I don't really know how to strike up a conversation even with friends i know. Hai...despite me being eighteen now, that's still a problem i need to work on =(

One more day has passed and i haven't receive any letter from NUS. Instead, there's a tea party invitation from NTU which i can't go too.hai...whatever it is i hope the wait will not be too long now since about half a month's gone...

Have to get back to work.lol=)

Didn't realise that blogspot is now with google. Baa...lol.and i forgot my password.Can't retrieve my past account. Hai.guess it's still alright since i didn't really keep my blog updated anyway. Haha. Well, i shall attempt to do so this time round.

Been eagerly waiting for my NUS letter of acceptance since the start of May but to no avail. Been really apprehensive now as i really hope to enter NUS as it's nearer my house. Although NTU will be just as well, given my financial condition, i cannot afford to stay in hostel and so travelling will really take up much of my time. Hence, this feeling of apprehension has only increased with the news of more and more friends around me receiving their letter of acceptance. Perhaps i should call and enquire soon.

Since it's been so long, i don't think i'll be given my first choice course. Hopefully, it'll still be the faculty of science and i can study life sciences. Hai. and this proves another problem. Should i therefore just go study bioengineering in NTU though it's far or should i go study life sciences (if i'm accepted that is) in NUS?? I'm interested in both but just felt that an engineering degree is a safer option when it comes to career choices. However, somehow i still feel that i'm not that suited to studying physics. Arggghh. I'm so confused and frustrated by the seemingly endless waiting. Everytime i logged in to check, it's always application processing. Why?? or maybe it's because my sis and i applied for the financial aid and then failed to submit the documents as we finally decided that a bank loan is much suitable for us? Hai...Can they just give me an answer soon?

Hope these hair-tearing days will pass soon...